People  of all ages experience the horror of nightmares. Unfortunately for children these nightmares can cause difficulty distinguishing what is a nightmare and what is reality. A nightmare is a dream that results in some form of fear.  It occurs during the individual’s REM sleep and often awakens them. Some people vividly recall the content of the nightmare, while others awake frightened but cannot remember it.

Children can begin to believe the nightmares are real, and consequently, become afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone and may even display behaviors such as seeing and hearing things. When a child has nightmares, it is important to help them cope with the fear and anxiety. The following tips from the National Sleep Foundation to help a child overcome the effects of nightmares.

–Listen and understand.

Try to understand your child’s fears. Don’t dismiss or make fun of them.

–Be reassuring.

It is important to reassure your child if he or she is afraid. Communicate the idea that they are safe.

–Teach coping skills.

Teach your child coping skills and discuss alternative ways to respond, such as “being brave” and thinking positive thoughts. You could talk about how you deal with something that you are afraid of.

–Have fun in the dark.

Make being in the dark fun. Play flashlight tag. Have a treasure hunt and search for things that glow in the dark.

–Use your imagination and be creative.

Use your imagination to fight imaginary fears, such as monsters. Many families have found “monster spray” to be a wonderful way to help a child cope with bedtime fears. Whenever possible, have your child be actively involved in coming up with solutions to help them gain a sense of mastery and control.

–Have a security object to help your child feel more relaxed at bedtime and throughout the night.

–Use a nightlight.

No matter what your child seems to be afraid of, a nightlight can help. Nightlights are fine as long as they do not prevent your child from falling asleep. Another thing to try is leaving the bedroom door open so that your child doesn’t feel isolated from the rest of the family.

–Avoid scary television shows.

Keep your child away from scary TV shows, movies or stories that may add to his or her fears. This also includes video games, YouTube and social media.

–Relaxation training.

Teach your child relaxation strategies to help him or her relax at bedtime and fall asleep. It is physically impossible to be relaxed and scared at the same time.

–Discuss your child’s fears during the day.

Talk to your child about his or her fears during the day and how he or she can be less frightened at night. Additionally, build your child’s self-confidence during the day. If he or she feels secure during the day, this can help him or her feel more secure at night, too.

–Set limits.

At the same time that you are reassuring your child, you do need to set limits. Setting limits is necessary to prevent your child’s “being scared” behavior from being reinforced.

–Have him or her stay in their own bed. Don’t encourage your child to get out of bed. Your child should stay in bed and find out for himself or herself that they really are safe so that they can learn to overcome their fears. It is much better for you to stay with your child in their room than it is for him or her to join you. If your child is too frightened to stay in their room alone, it is OK to occasionally stay with him or her until they fall asleep. Don’t do this too frequently, or even two nights in a row, as they may come to depend on your presence. If your child gets up in the middle of the night and comes into your room, it is better to take them right back and gently tuck them into bed.

–Use the star system.

Some children get reinforced for being scared at night by getting lots of attention for being afraid. If this is the case, switch the scenario. Tell him or her how proud you are of them for being brave. Set up a star system so he or she can earn stars for being brave and sleeping on their own. After earning a certain number of stars, your child can turn them in for a treat, such as watching a favorite video, going to the park or baking chocolate chip cookies.

It is important to remember that nightmares are common in young children as they develop and their imagination grows. Children begin learning that bad does exist in the world, and the more they see — whether it be movies, trauma or family issues — it can influence the nightmares they have. If a child becomes more emotional because of a situation, it can increase that child’s fear and result in a heightened anxiety. Supporting your child during this time and teaching them the skills to work through the fear can help your child overcome nightmares.